Whoever Does the Will of God
/At Christmas time we hear some stories about Jesus and his origins and his family, but then we don’t hear much about his adult relationship with his family. We do, though, have this brief encounter embedded in this story from Sunday’s Gospel. Jesus is gaining attention in his ministry. People are gathering around to hear him, and they must appreciate his message, although it’s not without controversy. His family shows up, and he doesn’t go out to meet them or confront them or interact with them at all. Instead, he distances himself from them and widens people’s understanding of what it means to be his family. Those who do “the will of God” are his family.
What do you make of this? Is he denying his family, especially his mother, who went through so much in his early years? And I guess the bigger question for me is, why is his family there? Are they trying to rein him in? Jesus is becoming a controversial figure. We know exactly how controversial things will get – and how hard they’ll be for him as well as his family and all who know and love him. Maybe his family is trying to save him from that. Or maybe they’re embarrassed by what he’s doing. Maybe they want him to stop preaching everywhere and eating with sinners and just come home quietly to be a carpenter. However, he is quite literally a man on a mission, and he won’t be stopped. He is impelled to do the will of God, to follow his call, and he will not stop until he does that.
Sometimes our families and friends and other people in our lives don’t understand the things we’re called to do. I’m thinking especially of the many college students whom I’ve accompanied over the years. A lot of them struggled to find their calling, and a big part of their challenge was discerning amidst their parents’ expectations of them. Some of them had a hard time hearing God’s invitation because their parents’ invitation was so loud. Others were actually pretty clear about what they wanted to do with their lives but struggled to negotiate their desire with what their parents wanted for them. They loved their parents, and their parents clearly loved them. The students didn’t want to disappoint their parents, but they also wanted to live their lives authentically. That struggle was very real for them, and moving through it was how they transitioned from adolescence to adulthood. That process is important for all of us; we all must move through that in order to grow into mature and functioning adults.
I’m not sure if that’s what’s happening for Jesus in our Gospel, but it does seem like he’s moving in one direction and his family is not moving in that same direction, at least, not at that moment. But he keeps moving forward anyway, and I think that’s what we all have to do when God calls us to a thing. Whether it’s our family or friends or peers or community, lots of us have people in our lives who have thoughts and opinions about our lives.
I’m not saying we should never listen to those who know and love us, because they often have important insights to offer. When we’re discerning, it can be helpful to know what the people in our lives think. However, we can’t be controlled by the thoughts and opinions of other people, no matter how much we love them. There’s no real discernment without freedom, so we have to get to a space of freedom to authentically discern the will of God. And of course, that said, with freedom is also mental clarity and ability, being in touch with our reality and able to do what we feel called to do. If our clarity is diminished, we’re not really free. If we’re healthy and well, though, clear and open to the will of God, there comes a point when we consider what our loved ones think, but then we go ahead and do what we need to do.
How do you feel about that? Personally, I find it challenging. There may be some people who find it easy to lay aside others’ expectations, and even some who rebel against expectations just for the sake of rebellion. If you’re like that, you can let me know how you do that. I’ve never totally outgrown that thing inside me that makes me care what other people think. I kind of hope to some day. On the other hand, I do tend to do what I need to do to follow God’s call, even if that means disappointing some people in my life. I guess I care what people think, but if that comes into conflict with the direction I know I need to take, I follow God’s call. I’m aware of others’ expectations, but I try not to let them sit in the driver’s seat. I also try not to let them navigate from the back. That’s not easy, though.
What has helped me is having people in my life who care about me but are not attached to the decisions I make. People who love me ultimately want me to be free. I’ve had sisters, friends, spiritual directors, and mentors who have supported me as I’ve tried to listen to the voice of God. Sometimes the voice of God even sounds like their voices as they’ve shared their wisdom with me. In many ways, I’ve surrounded myself with a chosen family like Jesus did. I have lots of people around me who also seek to do the will of God, and we reflect God’s will, and God’s love and care, back to each other.
Maybe that’s what the Christian family is really about for all of us. We each seek to do the will of God. When we surround ourselves with people who are trying to do the same thing, there Christ is, present in our midst. There’s a freedom in following God’s will, a loving freedom which we offer to each other that transcends expectations. In fact, God doesn’t have expectations of us — only invitations. When we follow God’s call, then we know what it means to be a part of Christ’s family.
For Reflection:
What is your relationship with other people’s expectations? Is it challenging or not that hard to negotiate what others expect of you?
When it comes to making a decision or discerning a way forward, what helps you to get to a place of openness and freedom and listening to God’s invitation to you?
What makes it hard for you to hear, and respond, to God’s invitations to you?
Who are the people in your life who live and care for you unconditionally, without expectations? How do you care for the people in your life without placing your expectations on them?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and dancing.
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