Hugging Wrath and Anger
/“Wrath and anger are hateful things,
yet the sinner hugs them tight.”
In this Sunday’s readings, what captures my attention is the image of hugging wrath and anger, as if they are enraged teddy bears or something. What does it mean to hug wrath and anger? Sirach says that “the sinner” hugs these “hateful things” tightly, and although I’d like to think this is going to be advice for other people, as a certified sinner, I’m sure it applies to me too. And maybe it will speak to you as well. Let’s take a closer look.
Hugging wrath and anger tightly – I’m sure I do that sometimes, but is it necessarily a bad thing? I mean, there have been times when my anger was justified and it moved me to action, like doing advocacy or joining a protest. Sometimes anger has moved me to risk something new, take initiative, or speak up for myself or someone else. Sometimes anger moves me to confront someone in a healthy way, and that can actually strengthen a relationship. I’ve had experiences in which holding onto anger was a healthy response to an unhealthy situation; my anger pushed me to be resolute and to make a change.
So, there are times when it’s okay, I think, to clasp anger tightly, times when holding onto it is protective or even empowering. However, that kind of anger isn’t the same as wrath, and it’s that kind of anger that Sirach is talking about. A few lines later he says,
“Forgive your neighbor’s injustice;
then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.
Could anyone nourish anger against another
and expect healing from the LORD?
Could people refuse mercy to another like themselves,
can they seek pardon for their own sins?”
Sirach is not talking about righteous anger that moves us toward justice; he’s talking about the kind of anger that’s vengeful and destructive. This kind of anger can do some damage in relationships. When I feel this kind of vicious anger, it’s hard to let go of it. It kind of burns inside and lashes out at people. It tends to control me rather than motivate me. I suspect that clinging too tightly to it can allow my life, relationships, and spirituality to be infiltrated by resentment or bitterness or even rage. I can see why Sirach calls this kind of anger “hateful,” because if hugged too tightly for too long, it can turn into hatred.
Sirach’s instruction to let go of this kind of anger reminds me of last week’s Gospel when Jesus, also speaking about forgiveness, says, “‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.’” It seems there’s a connection between forgiving others and being forgiven ourselves. I can’t look for mercy for myself unless I offer it to someone who has wronged me. And, wow, I can’t look for healing from God if I “nourish anger” against someone else. Nourish is an interesting choice of words. Often I find that if I’m angry with someone, the more I think about it, the more I allow the feeling of frustration or annoyance or hurt to wash over me, the angrier I am. I feed that anger, nurturing it from something fairly benign into something that infiltrates the whole of me.
These days, it seems like there’s anger in the atmosphere around us. Some of it is justified anger, like the anger around racial injustice or systems that keep people in poverty, and that kind of anger moves people to advocate for change. Some of it is wrath, though, which only nourishes itself into a bigger fire but doesn’t push for common good or social change. Some of the anger wafting around is a mixture of both, I think. The questions emerging in all of this for me are: Which kind of anger am I embracing, nourishing, and putting out to the universe? Once I’m able to name the anger, how is God calling me to respond?
It seems important for my own spiritual good to understand what kind of anger is stirring in me and to name it. Maybe it is the kind of anger that comes with a call from God to do something. Or, maybe it’s the kind of anger that comes from a problem in a relationship, and then I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness and find some resolution. Maybe it’s neither of these and it just comes from a wounded ego or a feeling of entitlement. That’s hard to work through and a little humbling! Maybe it’s anger that’s really an elaborate disguise for fear, and if that’s what’s happening, then I need to unmask it, recognize it for what it is, and deal with it.
Only when I can name anger and identify its flavor can I know how God is calling me to respond with action, mercy, healing, or forgiveness.
For Reflection:
What about you? How are you with anger – your own and someone else’s?
Can you think of a time when anger was a healthy, helpful force within you?
Can you think of a time when anger was harmful?
What is God calling you to do with any anger you may be nourishing?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Board of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.