Were Not Our Hearts Burning?
/“Were not our hearts burning within us . . .” The disciples are not talking about the spicy meal they just had at the inn on their way to Emmaus. What they mean when they say their hearts were burning is that they felt the presence of Christ as they walked along with the stranger who broke open the Scriptures for them. I sometimes experience a similar sensation when I notice God’s presence; it does feel like a warmth inside my heart or a stirring in my gut. Sometimes God’s presence gives me a shiver of recognition. At other times it’s not something I feel bodily but notice in my mind, like a sudden inspiration or opening to a new idea. Sometimes it’s an emotion, like joy or awe or surprise. When I recognize God, I try to respond — a felt sense of God’s presence is a gift.
The disciples on the road to Emmaus are essentially running away from the drama. While their companions are hiding, they’re on the run. They’re experiencing a wide range of emotions – sadness, disappointment, fear – and maybe they’re running from those feelings too. We tend to think of emotions as being in the heart, and if that’s the case, then their hearts are pumped full of intense feelings. I find it somewhat interesting, then, that as Christ joins them on the road and hears all the feelings they express, he calls them “slow of heart.” For Christ, it’s not feelings that live in the heart but belief. They may have a multitude of emotions racing through them, but they’re slow of heart because they don’t believe.
In all fairness, never did they ever expect to encounter the risen Christ there on the road. In fact, since he died, they never expect to encounter him at all. No wonder it takes them a while to recognize him; even though their hearts are burning all the while he walks with them, it takes them time to name what’s happening. I don’t think it’s unusual that they misunderstand what’s going on. It takes practice to learn to recognize God’s presence. It can also take time to figure out how to respond, but these disciples take no time to figure that out. They turn around and rush all the way back to Jerusalem to rejoin their community.
How about you? Do you find yourself slow of heart, or is your heart burning within you at the recognition of God’s presence? For me, it’s a little of both. Some days I feel God’s presence, but sometimes I’m slow of heart, slow to believe, distanced from God. Sometimes my slowness of heart is because I’m too wrapped up in myself and whatever is going on within me. Sometimes I’m just plain distracted, distracted by my To Do list or the thoughts running around in my head or one of the million external things, usually found on a screen, which draws my attention away from God.
It’s easy to be slow of heart. As I think about it, slowness of heart is not necessarily related to emotions. People can find God close with them even when they’re going through a hard time, or we can feel distanced from God even in times of joy. So, what determines how close or far we feel from God?
Honestly, sometimes God determines that. If we’re in relationship with God, then, as they say, it takes two to tango. I guess people don’t usually say that about the spiritual life, but I stand by the expression. In a relationship, two people are together in the dance, and each one moves closer or farther in as they sway, shake it, and leap through life. I do believe that God always wants to be close and that God delights when we move closer, but we can’t make God do anything (and God can’t make us do anything either). For some reason, a felt sense of God’s presence shifts throughout our lives. I don’t know why, but it is a natural movement. And we see that in human relationships too — sometimes people feel close and connected, and sometimes we just don’t. I think that back-and-forth is normal.
That said, there are things that we can do to grow our spiritual lives and deepen our relationship with God. For one thing, it’s important to just keep showing up to prayer in a regular way. It’s not romantic to talk about discipline, but discipline is part of what makes the spiritual life work. I just have to keep showing up. If I don’t, God will still be there, but I might not notice. Prayer takes practice, as does listening for the “voice” of God (which is not an actual voice, of course, and that’s what makes it hard to “hear”). Recognizing God’s presence also takes self-knowledge. I need to be in touch with my thoughts and feelings to be able to know what come from God and what doesn’t. That too just takes practice. It’s very basic, and so it might sound easy, but I can tell you that it’s not. Showing up day after day takes work and patience. Sometimes my heart is slow and sometimes it’s burning with the presence of God. Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening, but at other times I do feel close to God. For me, the discipline of prayer involves making a habit prayer but also being open enough that I’m not just going through the motions. It’s not an easy balance. It’s a delicate dance.
However, it’s possible to grow in our prayer lives. Why? Because it’s not just up to us. It takes two to tango, remember? And our partner makes all things possible. So, even when my heart feels slow and I feel slow and I’m busy and distracted or just lazy, God can set my heart ablaze with love and presence. Because that’s what God does.
Where not our hearts burning within us? Yes, our hearts are burning. They might be big and blaze-y or softly glowing or sputtering with reluctant sparks, but God is with us. We seek God even as God seeks us, walking along the road we travel every single day. We try to focus our attention on this holy companion and notice what’s happening within our own hearts. And we dance on. . . . Amen.
For reflection:
What about you? What makes your heart slow?
What makes your heart burn?
How is your prayer life? What’s the call of the moment, God’s invitation for you right now? Maybe just take a little time with God and talk it over.
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, meaningful conversations, and community.