Seen, Known, and Loved
/In this story about the Transfiguration, we get a little peek into an intimate moment between Jesus and his friends. And God‘s there, too, of course. Jesus brings just three close friends up to that mountaintop, and he reveals who he is. The other people in his life probably know that he walks closely with God, but in the stories we’ve heard lately from the Gospel of Mark, it’s often the demons who really know him for who he is. I don’t know how Jesus feels about that, but I’d guess he’d like his friends to know him too. So, he takes these three apart and shares with them. Afterwards, he asks them not to tell anyone, and so they keep it confidential. They may not understand it, but they don’t tell tales. Good friends.
How do you see yourself in the story? Are you the one sharing the deepest parts of yourself? Are you the trustworthy friend who receives another person in the fullness of who they are? I hope we’ve all had the experience of both, because sharing and receiving are such important aspects of love, friendship, and intimacy.
There is nothing like that feeling of putting yourself out there just as you are, authentically and real, and being received in love and compassion. To be seen and known by another person is just so important. Personally, I don’t know if I can trust that I’m loved unless I’m also known. Otherwise, it’s kind of like, well, they think they love me, but if they only knew such and such, then they wouldn’t. It can be really scary to share with such vulnerability, but it’s that vulnerability that brings us closer to another person.
Of course, we do have to be discerning about the people we choose to take into our confidence. I’ve misjudged that before and been hurt. We have to honor ourselves by sharing only with someone who can receive us and respect our confidentiality and not use what we share to hurt us. Don’t throw your pearls before swine, as one of my sisters is fond of saying, quoting Jesus and making an apt point. Jesus himself was no stranger to betrayal, and truth be told, if we open ourselves, we risk that too. There’s no vulnerability without some risk. However, we can’t allow the risk to shut us down and keep us from ever opening up. Intimacy is worth the risk; we just have to be wise when we choose with whom we share.
This story of the transfiguration, along with other stories that hint at Jesus’s relationships, shows me that Jesus had people with whom he could share the deepest parts of himself. Jesus spent so much time and energy caring for other people, and I’m glad he could receive love and care too.
How awesome would it be to be Jesus’s person? To have a beer or coffee with him and talk for hours about all the things in his heart and mind? Our faith tells us that whenever we receive another person we receive Christ, so in a way, we can all be Christ’s person. That said, have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s sharing? That’s a really sacred space. Whenever I find myself in the position of being trusted like that, I tend to marvel at the grace of the moment and the way the presence of God is so clear. It can also be a lot to live up to, to receive a person with love and openness and not allow my own stuff to get in the way.
When I was training to be a spiritual director, I noticed a tendency in myself to want to fix other people’s problems rather than simply being with them. Receiving another person’s strong emotions can feel uncomfortable. That discomfort came as a surprise to me, honestly. I’m someone who tends to have big feelings, and so I was startled to notice how uncomfortable I was with big feelings. Hm. Curious. I did get more comfortable with practice. I wonder if lots of us are uncomfortable with strong emotions, and in the face of them, we don’t know what to do, and so we slip into advising. I try to remember that when I am on the receiving end of unsolicited advice, that it’s probably coming from a person’s discomfort but good intention. There are times when people are seeking a solution, but more often than not, we just want to be heard and understood. It’s challenging to simply be present, but I also know from my own experience that listening can be a tremendous act of love.
As I think about how Jesus was with people, I notice that he often asks them directly what they need. “What would you like me to do for you?” By asking, he doesn’t make assumptions but rather seeks consent. He respects boundaries. He honors the person in front of him. Does he fix them? Well, kind of, yes. Most of the time that’s why people were seeking him out — for healing, restoration, cleansing. However, he’s also simply present to people. He takes people as they are, inviting them to grow and change, but also just loving them. Maybe there’s an invitation to us to be that way with each other too.
Sharing ourselves with someone and being received in love, acceptance, and compassion is one of the greatest gifts of the human experience, as is being the trusted friend who receives another person. Giving and taking, revelation and confidentiality, are part of what makes intimacy possible. And intimacy with each other is also how we experience God’s love. God knows and loves and accepts us always. So, may we journey up to the mountaintop with Jesus and his companions and encounter God too. As Jesus revealed the fullness of who he is, may we reveal the fullness of who we are before God and those closest to us. And may we each hear God proclaim that we are God’s beloved too, because we are.
For reflection:
As you think about your experiences of intimacy, what has it been like to share from your heart with another person? Were you received with love and care? Or not? What was that like?
Have you ever experienced the gift of someone else’s intimate sharing with you? What was that like? How did it affect your relationship with that person, with yourself, with God?
As you think about your relationship with God, are you able to be fully yourself – true, honest, authentic before God? What’s it like to be received by God for who you are?
Is there anything that you’d like to say to God in prayer? And, as you listen, what is God saying to you?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Leslie is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Board of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.