How Do We Love One Another?
/Throughout the Easter Season, we’ve heard stories of the early Church and how it grew and evolved. For whatever reason, I’ve been especially attuned to the story of Saul/Paul. Before his conversion, that guy was bad news, not Good News. He was going around hunting people, locking them up, and persecuting them. I imagine that even the most faithful people feared him. And then, bam, he has a conversion that literally knocks him to the ground (not off a horse), and after that, everything changes for him. Everything changes for the Church too.
I can see why, at first, others’ responses to him are chilly. Why trust this guy? He could come for you at any moment, and he probably did something bad to someone you know. Eventually, though, somehow, people do trust him, and, as we see from this reading, he helps to shape this community and call others to it. Really, it’s because of Paul more than any of the first Christians that we have a church. He organizes it, supports it, and spreads its message far and wide.
Paul’s conversion and call from God are dramatic. Once he hears the voice of Christ, which is very clear in both it’s manifestation and its direction for him, Paul continues to be sure of his call as he promotes the gospel and builds the Church. I envy that clarity.
The voice of God is usually not that clear for me. Now, I’m not looking for God to knock me down — and I hope I don’t live my life in such a way that that’s necessary. For me, and in my experience of accompanying other people, God’s call can seem kind of ambiguous.
I mean, we know what God’s call is, generally speaking. In our Gospel, Jesus says: “I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” What Christ wants us to do could not be more clear; in this tiny passage, he says it three times.
So, the Love One Another commandment is clear, but it’s the how of that commandment that is uncertain. What does loving each other look like in the real, day-to-day, moment-to-moment of our lives? Is it just being a little kinder in line at the grocery store or, gulp, on the road? Is it being tender and compassionate in our relationships? Is it volunteering at a homeless shelter on the weekends or is it bigger, like building a homeless shelter? Is loving one another with small acts with great kindness, a Thérèse of Lisieux approach? Or is it a go-big-or-go-home strategy, like founding a nonprofit or a community?
I don’t know, but I think this question of how is essential to our discipleship and spiritual lives. I once accompanied a young woman who, as she discerned God’s call, would talk about the “Big V Vocation” (like, should I get married or stay single or join a community?) and the “small v vocation” (like, should I be a teacher or a social worker?). I think that’s a helpful distinction, and all of us have a Big V Vocation and probably several small v vocations. Part of what we do in the spiritual life, and in the whole of our lives, is to figure out how God is calling us to use our gifts to serve others. Every Christian, and every person, is called to love others, but how (and who, what, where, and when) is different for each of us. Like Paul, we have to figure out the context, but no matter what direction our lives take, God calls us to a life, and many aspects of our lives, that help us to love well.
A couple of years ago, one of the young women who was casually considering religious life in my community suddenly ghosted me. When she finally got back in touch, she told me she had a boyfriend, which I kind of figured. We had a really nice conversation about it, and one of the things she said was that she felt God was calling her to “a vocation of love” instead of religious life. And that was a wonderful, teachable opportunity for me to be able to say, “Every vocation is about love.”
I believe that to be true — every vocation is about love. I guess it’s obvious that marriage is about love. Spouses love each other, their children, and their extended families, and it doesn’t end there. Married couples I know also reach beyond their family to love the people in their neighborhoods, parishes, workplaces, etcetera. Single people, too, reach out to those around them, love their families, whether they have children or not, and engage in service to the wider community. And religious and priests, in the ways that we minister and live community, love others, and I think we also do so in our interactions with the people around us — our neighbors, doctors, people in line at the grocery store (maybe not so much on the road – talking about myself here.) But no matter how God calls us to live the Big V Vocation, it’s going to be about love, and God calls us to the Vocation in which we are best suited to love well.
Even in our small v vocations, God calls us to do the things that will help us to love well. Not only that, but God calls us to things that will teach us to love better. When I think again of Paul and all that he did, he really grew into his vocation, from spreading fear to spreading the Good News. His zeal was consistent, but it deepened when it was infused with love instead of hate. God helped him to make the best use of his time and talent for the good of the whole community. We still benefit, not only because he spread the gospel that was handed down to us, but because we’re still inspired by his letters. Paul did what was Paul’s to do, and each one of us is called do what is ours to do. That’s how we love one another.
Recognizing the how does take discernment and reflection. Sometimes we come to a crossroads in our lives when a transition has to happen or we feel called to make one, and then we have to figure out what to do next. There are some discernment practices that can help us to recognize God’s call, and ultimately, whatever that is will be about love. God might knock us down and shake us up to lead us in a direction, or God might be subtle, guiding us step-by-step each day until many of our interactions are simple, loving gestures for other people. However it happens, I suspect others will recognize us as disciples by the way we love.
As Christ has loved us, so we should love one another. The how — and the who, what, where, and when — takes discernment. What is ours to do? What is yours? What is mine? I’m not exactly sure all the time, but no matter what direction we take, the Spirit is guiding us to love and serve others in the most fitting way for us too. Sometimes how God calls us to love might challenge us or move us to grow. Sometimes it might feel really good, and sometimes it might be the tough love that’s hard. And God is in it all. The more we love others, the more we know God’s love for us.
For reflection
Have you ever entered into a discernment about how God is calling you to love and serve — either a Big V Vocation or a small v vocation? How did you eventually recognize God’s call?
Where and how has God’s call to love led you?
How is God inviting you to love right now? Maybe you could take some quiet time with God and just listen.
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She enjoys music, dancing, the joy of the resurrection, and Easter candy.