What's Your Plan, Disciple?
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In our Gospel Reading, it seems that Jesus is letting us know that discipleship will be very challenging. He says that we must hate our families and even hate our own lives, and if we don’t, we can’t be his disciples. Wow. He also says that we must plan for the cost of following him. I honestly never thought about planning my discipleship, but he’s asking us to strategize about it, like building a building or starting a war. I think he wants us to decide if we have it in us to live the challenge of discipleship, to hate people that I love and to give up everything I have. But how can I know if I can until I try?
When I look at this in light of our First Reading, it seems like there’s a contradiction. The Book of Wisdom tells us, “Who can know God’s counsel, or who can conceive what God intends? For the deliberations of mortals are timid, and unsure are our plans.” People, in our short-sighted, limited perspective, can’t really make solid plans. God knows all and conceives all, so how can we mortals know anything? We can’t. Instead, we trust God to show us the way. “Or who ever knew your counsel, except you had given wisdom and sent your holy spirit from on high? And thus were the paths of those on earth made straight.”
We can’t see the big picture or know the designs of God, and so we trust that God will show us the way forward step-by-step. This is not about strategy, but about trust and discernment as we make our way along a path that is veiled in mystery.
So, is it strategy or trust? Making a plan or surrendering to God’s wisdom? What do you make of this seeming contradiction?
I’m honestly a little befuddled by it. When I think about my own life, I am someone who likes to plan and strategize. I like to know where things are going – and when and how. I would rather make a plan and carry it out than simply trust that things will go as they should. That’s way too stressful! For me, it’s easier to just go ahead and take control and do the work than it is to trust. Maybe that’s my personality, or maybe it’s generational, or maybe it’s human.
I also anticipate that things won’t be easy because life is never easy. I figure that I probably won’t ever know the designs of God. The founder of my community, Blessed Jean Martin Moye, told us that we should adore the designs of Providence without knowing them. Adoring the designs of Providence without knowing them is pretty hard, actually, but if I knew what the future held, I likely wouldn’t like it, much less adore it. On the other hand, when I look back and take a wide-view perspective of things, I can definitely see and appreciate God’s design and at least adore the God who is so present in it. If, in the cool, clear light of hindsight I can so clearly notice the designs of Providence, maybe I can trust that somehow God is present in the future too. And present in the present.
I don’t have a hand in creating God’s designs, but there are things I can do to enrich my spiritual life, practices that I can employ that will help me open to God. I can be disciplined about my prayer; I can keep showing up day after day, not controlling the outcome but opening my heart to whatever God will do in that prayer. I can surround myself with other spiritual people who challenge and support me and whom I challenge and support. I can work to bring about the Reign of God because acting with compassion, kindness, and peace benefits other people and my own spirit too. I can be intentional about trusting God and looking at life through the lens of faith. I can surrender my desire to control to my deeper desire to be close to God, and I can surrender myself to that God who loves and cares for me and all people.
So, in a way these are strategies. I don’t hate my family or my life, but I think I mostly try to put God first, and maybe that’s what Jesus is really calling us to do. “Hate” is a strong word and probably an exaggeration. Jesus is trying to catch our attention to shock us into thinking about what it would look like to put God at the center of our lives. What are the things in my life that I can arrange or rearrange to do that? How can I open myself to the wisdom of God and trust that as I move through life step-by-step, God is giving me what I need to walk along the path toward God?
The call I hear in this is to be strategic, but softly strategic, to do that which I can do to open myself to God and then leave the rest to God. Jean Martin also says, “God knows all your needs since God knows everything; God can provide for them since God is all-powerful; God wills to do so, since . . . God loves us as children. What could you be troubled about?” Truly, what could I be troubled about?
For reflection:
What’s your discipleship strategy? What spiritual practices help to bring you closer to God? Is there anything else that you might what to try to open yourself more fully?
How easy or hard is it for you to adore the designs of God’s providence in your life? How comfortable are you with uncertainty? What could help you to surrender a little more?
Maybe we could all take some quiet time with God to sit in adoration of God’s great designs, or to just be with God who loves each of us so tenderly.
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and dancing.