Who Do You Say That I Am? | Know God, Know Yourself

“Who do you say that I am?”

As I’ve been getting ready for this podcast in our new season, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Jesus’s question. He asks it of his disciples, his friends. In lots of ways, it’s kind of a vulnerable question. He wants to know if they know him. If they were to give a generic response or say, ‘We don’t know,” or got it wrong, that would be pretty heartbreaking coming from those who are closest to him. Thank God Peter answers as he does. Peter doesn’t always, or usually, get it right, but in this moment, he affirms Jesus and lets him know that Peter sees him for who he is.

If you put yourself into the story, how would you respond to that question? Jesus is a lot of things for Christians, and we have lots of names to describe who he is – some of them theological and some personal. Who Christ is for me has changed over the years. My understanding of Christ has deepened as my relationship has deepened. On the other hand, I’ve also moved through times when I’m really not sure who Christ is for me. Sometimes I’m not sure who God is for me.

Maybe you’ve had that experience too. In accompanying people, I know that others move through that space, and I also know that asking questions is a very healthy thing. When I was in college and involved in an interdenominational group, one of the leaders of the group said that it’s okay to question but not okay to doubt. That has never sat well with me because it limits God. God can take our questions and our doubts and anything else we dish out at God. And honestly, moving through these spaces is a normal part of spiritual growth. If I walk around claiming that I know everything, well, that’s a lot more about me and my ego than it is about God. Eventually, moving through those spaces of doubt, even though it’s pretty uncomfortable, helps me to grow into a grounded and mature spirituality. God is mystery, and the spiritual life is shrouded in mystery and ambiguity, wonder and awe. None of those is about certainty, and as soon as we think we’re certain, that’s when we hit a wall. Certainty closes the door to mystery and wonder and awe.

And yet, even if we doubt or question or feel uncertain, we can trust that God is with us. I don’t know about you, but I’m someone who can hold contradictions, and I find that life, as complex as it is, is full of those contradictions. So, I know that I can hold both doubt and trust at the same time. I know that I don’t understand the fullness of who God is, and I keep seeking to know, and through it all I can trust that God is with me. I also know after coming through to the other side of doubt, that even when I sit in the darkness of distrust and even fear, God is with me. As it says in Psalm 139, “From your presence, where can I flee? . . . If I say, ‘Surely darkness shall hide me, / and night shall be my light’ / Darkness is not dark for you, / and night shines as the day. / Darkness and light are but one.”

So back to our conversation with Jesus and his friends. He wants to be known, and they show him that they know him. They love him. Isn’t there something in all of us that seeks to be known because without being known, how can we be loved? We want to be known in the depth of who we are so that we can be loved in the depth of who we are. Humans are dang complicated, aren’t we? We’re a mystery too, not exactly like God, but mysterious, nonetheless. Most of us want the mystery of who we are to be unraveled by the people we love. We want our loved ones to take the time to know us and so, in safe spaces, we carefully allow the mystery to be discovered. I hope we also let the mystery of who we are to be unraveled ourselves so we know ourselves. And how about God?

So often when I read this Gospel passage, I ask myself these questions that I’ve asked today: Who is Christ to me? Who is God to me now? But this time I also spent some time wondering: Who does God say that I am? God sees beneath my superficial identities, the ways I describe myself in small talk with strangers – my name, my job, where I live, in Cincinnati, where I went to high school (If you’re from here, you know.). But that’s not really who I am. I’m raised in a family as the oldest daughter, I’m a Catholic sister, I’m middle-aged, I identify as a woman, I didn’t grow up with wealth, but I’m educated. I lack some privileges, but mostly I have plenty of privilege. But that’s still not the depth of who I am.

I wonder if God knows me better than I know myself, and as I live my life and reflect on it and open myself in prayer to God’s insights, God reveals the mystery of who I am to me bit by bit. Also, who I am is an ever-changing landscape. I hope that throughout my life I’m constantly growing and changing and evolving. And I hope you are too. If we all move through the world with curiosity about ourselves and a willingness to reflect on our experiences and our reactions, our relationships, beliefs, and values, we keep growing.

My community has a prayer called the Act of Abandonment to Divine Providence, and the last line asks God to “bring me into the fullness of being that you have destined for me from all eternity.” I’m not really sure how destiny works in all this, but I do believe that God is guiding each of us into the fullness of our being, the being that is knit within us that keeps growing as we grow, the being that is part of who God is within each one of us.

So, who do you say that God is? And who does God say that you are? May we all keep seeking to know the fullness God and the fullness of our own being. May it be so. Amen.

For reflection:

• As you consider the question “Who do you say that I am,” what wells up in you? What’s your response?

• Have you ever had the experience of not knowing how to answer that question? How did you navigate that time, and what helped you to move toward an answer, if you did? How was God with you?

• How does God respond to you when you ask God, “Who do you say that I am?”

• Maybe we could spend some time with God and see what emerges.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a vibrant spirituality ministry building community in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. A Sister of Divine Providence, she holds a Master’s in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. Sister Leslie guides retreats, offers spiritual direction, and nurtures vocations within her community. Passionate about helping people encounter God in everyday life, she delights in meaningful conversations, dancing, and spicy food along the way.