Afraid of Choosing Wrong? God Walks with You Through Every Decision

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Life is full of choices. Some are big, like marriage or career changes or moving. Some are small, like should I work out or stay home and rest or what should I do on the weekend? In our reading from Sirach, we see that God is involved in the choices we make, placing before us “life and death, good and evil.” We are free, but God asks us to choose according to God’s wisdom, God’s commandments.

I believe most people want to choose life and good over death and evil, but sometimes those intentions don’t translate into action. I don’t just mean the terrible or violent choices people make, but the simple, daily choices people make that just aren’t of God. I miss opportunities to make life-giving choices when I react out of fear or fatigue or even hanger rather than clear discernment. Although I want to make good choices, ones that align with God, I sometimes act out of my human weakness instead. When I do, I regret it. I guess we all do that from time to time.

There are other occasions, though, when it’s not life and death before us; sometimes God places before us life or life — two choices that are both good. These kinds of choices are not moral decisions, the ones in which our conscience lets us know what to do. When I’m faced with a choice between two good things, I can spend a lot of time waffling back and forth between them. I trust that God’s call for me lies with the choice that’s the most life-giving for me, but it might be unclear which one that is. What then?

Well, there are some best practices that can help when I’m faced with this kind of decision-making or discernment: examining my thoughts and feelings, talking it through with a spiritual director or friend, opening myself to God in prayer, journaling. Even with all that, though, sometimes the way toward God’s will isn’t obvious, at least, not at first.

 I know it’s not just me who struggles with this. Over years of walking with people in ministry, religious life discernment, and spiritual direction, I’ve seen many others struggle to figure out which is the most life-giving choice among several options. Like First Corinthians says, God’s wisdom is mysterious and hidden. Usually, if we lean in or take a baby step forward, we either get a confirmation of a good choice or a sign that we’re moving in the wrong direction, but sometimes we don’t. Or, it just takes so long for confirmation that it seems like we’ll be hanging in the limbo of indecision forever. Getting to clarity can demand patient waiting, and that doesn’t always feel good. Some of us respond by making a quick choice just to get out of that discomfort (guilty!), while some others kind of freeze in that limbo, unable to move forward or back (also guilty!). That frozen space is hard; we can’t discern clearly when we’re paralyzed. That puts fear in the driver’s seat, and fear is not a good driver.

Here’s the thing, though – most decisions are not irreversible. If I take a job that seems like a good fit but it turns out that it’s not, I can find something else. If I move and it doesn’t work out, I can go somewhere else. It will take time and effort and will probably be a pain, but it won’t ruin my life. I can simply change direction. It’s still a good learning; nothing is wasted. God will call me to something else and will move with me as I change course.

Some decisions, like marriage or vowed life, are serious, and we choose them with the intention of living with them for our whole lives. Daunting, right? However, these kinds of choices are made over time, with lots of small opportunities to say yes or no — and to know what to do — before a vow is ever made. Thank God! Even then, though, things happen. Sadly, people find that the person they married was not who they thought they were, or people have experiences that change them so deeply that their relationships can’t fit anymore. Changing course after these kinds of choices is deeply painful, but it can be done. It happens. People pick up the pieces and survive. Often, they grow.

I’m not implying that we should take our commitments lightly, but I am saying that there are few choices that can’t be changed and no choices that are beyond God’s redemption. Even when we make terrible choices, even when we don’t choose the life-giving course but instead move along a trail of destruction, God loves us. Even when that happens, God is always calling us back from the brink. In fact, God is often standing at that brink with us. And we are always free to turn and follow that call to come back, no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done. God’s wisdom is not like blind justice; God sees us exactly as we are and loves us. God’s wisdom is deeply compassionate and always seeks life — the best, most joyous, most fulfilling life for each of us. That’s good news. Even when we make choices that have more to do with death than life, more to do with destruction than building up, God offers us life. That’s what redemption is. Jesus experienced crucifixion, a terrible death, but he was raised to life despite humanity’s choice toward death. So, even when we do choose death, sometimes God says, “Nope,” and gives life anyway.  

God calls us to choose wisely, and hopefully we can trust that God will help us to decide and will love us through whatever we choose. Ultimately, our desire to choose life comes from God, in whose image we are created, and who has given us life in the first place.

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For Reflection:

  • Think back to a significant choice you made at some point in your life. In hindsight, was this a life-giving one or one that moves away from God?

  • What tells you that this was a good or bad choice? How do you know?

  • Is there anything you can learn from the past that can help you with future decisions, any wisdom that you take with you?

  • What are the choices that you’re facing now? Maybe you could take some time and reflect with God and listen for what God has to say.

 


By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a vibrant spirituality ministry building community in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. A Sister of Divine Providence, she holds a Master’s in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. Sister Leslie guides retreats, offers spiritual direction, and nurtures vocations within her community. Passionate about helping people encounter God in everyday life, she delights in meaningful conversations, dancing, and spicy food along the way (but hates waffling in indecision).