When Hope Is Hard to Find
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This week we get a lovely and affirming letter from Paul to the community in Thessalonica. He says he gives “thanks to God always for all of you” because of your “work of faith and labor of love and endurance in hope.” What does “endurance in hope” mean, and what happens when we need hope but can't seem to find it?
One way to look at it is to see that, because of one's hope, one is able to endure hard things, to persevere in the face of difficulty. So, hope is the foundation of what can keep me going. And, honestly, that sounds great. Life does keep kicking up hard things, and it’s good if our hope can inspire us to keep on keeping on. However, what if your hope snuffs out a bit, or even just flickers? What if you want to find inspiration in hope but sometimes you can’t find hope?
I’m a glass-half-full kind of person most of the time, but even so, there are times when I don’t feel hopeful. I’m thinking of moments during the pandemic when I felt like life had lost its purpose, when I thought I, and we, would never recover. There was also a period in my young adult years when I gave myself over to despair. Luckily, I’m also pretty driven, so I pushed on, and from the outside, I looked like I was successful, happy, and living my best life, but that was not inspired by hope. That drive was motivated by perfectionism and fear. Somehow I found my hope again, but that was likely because of God and not my own doing.
Another way I read “endurance in hope” is as persevering in hope itself. It’s not just persevering in life because of hope, but continuing to make room for hope even when life is hard. That’s what I want. No matter what, I’ll probably endure most things through sheer determination or stubbornness, but I want my sense of hope to endure with me. How do I find that kind of hope?
I’ve reflected on hope before, here and here – it’s amazing how things all come back around again – and, looking back at those reflections, I see a quote from Brené Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart that’s so good it bears repeating. She writes, “Hope is a function of struggle – we develop hope not during the easy times but through adversity and discomfort” (100). So, it’s not necessarily our hope that produces endurance, and it’s not about searching for a hope that endures. Sometimes, it is in enduring our struggles—with whatever help we can find—that hope grows.
I do find a sliver of encouragement in knowing that my times of struggle weren’t in vain. They did increase my hope after all. On the other hand, wouldn’t it be nice to find the secret to cultivating a pretty flame of hope that keeps on shining so that when things get hard, things actually seem easy? Apparently, that’s not how it works. Of course, it’s not.
I wish I could offer a clickbait-y headline to help us all with hope, something like, “How to Endure in Hope in Five Easy Steps,” but I think we all know that’s hooey. However, there are a couple of things that help me to endure, and in enduring, to find hope. They’re not easy fixes, though, and maybe I’m sharing them so that I too can remember to do them when things get hard (and maybe even when things aren’t hard).
Regular prayer and even mindfulness practices can help. Prayer brings me into deeper relationship with God. Sharing my feelings with God helps me to cope with my emotions too, especially the hard ones. It also shifts my perspective, giving me a broader view than the myopic one that comes with hopelessness. Mindfulness brings me into the present moment, even if that only comes in little flickers of awareness. Hope tends to be in the present moment. Sometimes when I’m feeling despair, it’s because I’ve projected myself into an unknown future, and swimming in that kind of uncertainty can douse the flame of hope. Or, I’m ruminating on stuff that happened in the past, stuff over which I have no control now, and that diminishes hope too. Staying present helps me to practice hope. It can be hard, though, and I can’t really do it by myself.
Which brings me to community. I know I say it a lot, but it’s so dang true. We need community. Very few people are called to be hermits. I’m not super good at leaning on community when I’m in need, but when I do, I see again how essential it is. A while back one of my sisters reminded me of that. My community had been at an assembly talking all day about things in the future, and I was feeling the worry of it all. I was sitting in the chapel next to one of my sisters, and I whispered something about my worries, and she put her hand on me and whispered back, “You need to just stay present.” When she said that to me, she helped me to find my way back into the present moment. I need to be reminded of the things I think I know, because “knowing” is really a relearning over and over again. I cannot self-generate hope. I need my community to remind me, to teach me, to inspire me with hope. It’s a helpful practice to pause and be intentionally grateful for community. “I give thanks always for all of you.” Doing so brightens my hope.
So, endurance strengthens our hope, and maybe hope helps us to endure too. We practice hope, we nurture it, and we make room for it—but we don't have to produce it by sheer force of will. Sometimes hope arrives through prayer. Sometimes through the hand of a sister resting on our shoulder. Sometimes through the simple act of staying present for one more moment. Sometimes, when we can't find hope ourselves, we borrow it from someone else.
Ultimately, God is the source of our hope. Hope is a gift, and sometimes we experience that gift through the people who help us keep going. The more we lean into God and into one another, the more room we make for hope to grow.
For reflection:
Where are you finding hope these days? Where does hope feel difficult to find?
Have you ever experienced a time of hopelessness or despair? What—or who—helped you through it?
When life gets hard, how do you tend to endure? What role do prayer, community, and your relationship with God play in helping you find hope?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a vibrant spirituality ministry building community in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. A Sister of Divine Providence, she holds a Master’s in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. Sister Leslie guides retreats, offers spiritual direction, and nurtures vocations within her community. Passionate about helping people encounter God in everyday life, she delights in the Virtue of Simplicity, meaningful conversations, dancing, and spicy food along the way.